Jim QuotesThis section of my site is all about Jim.  I would like to thank Jim for allowing me my own part of the internet.  Jim is the founder of somethingnice.net and he is the funniest kid I know and all of these quotes are actual and hysterical.  Please laugh as hard as I did when he actually uttered the phrases.  When you are done with my section go to his site

 

[Over an Instant Messenger Program] 

Mark: i don't know what language you speak in ohio, but in nh we speak english

Jim: SEE YOU ALSO DON'T USE CAPITAL LETTERS

 

 [Conversation on how we both will work at Sears]

Jim : see that's is why I work with customers and you stay in the back out of sight like some troll, pounding on an anvil..

 

[Conversation with Jim where I asked if he wanted to work at a boys summer camp]

Jim: Can I be the female lifeguard

Mark: No

Jim: Then no............how am I suppose to play video games & sleep & cheat on my girl friend

 

Jim: I will get reversed stilts.

 

Jim: I will kill you, and take your money............actually I'll just do that, forget the job

 

Mark: want to just become my pimp

Jim: frack no, pimping's hard, plus I'd need a hat.....no wait I got a BK crown tonight

 

I don't agree but this is funny:

Jim: your stoner Dave Matthews music is turning you dubm dumb[he wanted it spelled like that]

 

Mark: I hate track balls

Jim: yeah, running is hard like that [mind you this would be really funny if he was computer illiterate however he is not and knows a great deal about computers]

 

Jim: here's some info to help sell me: I jerk off every night, because I need to

 

Talking about a Japanese boy band music video where all they do is parade around in diapers/tighty whities and there is a leaf over there crotch, and they sing. [YATTA]

Jim: I would so totally be in that band

Jim: we'd have an entire series taking regular music video staples and just doing them half-naked

 

Jim: Testicle Kick Sandwich

 

Perhaps the funniest day in US History Class

History Teacher: [20 minute story on how he hates dogs, then he says] Dogs like me, they always come around me

Jim: Maybe it is because you have a strong smelling crotch

 

Jim pretending to be High School Guidance Counselor: "well sit down I want to straighten you out on a few things, first your wrong and second never come into this office ever again."